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This was most especially the case in the missionary position. I’d have to subtly reach down, pretending I was stimulating myself for extra fun, to feel out if he was inside me or not. And even then, I wouldn’t be totally sure. I’d even clench my muscles, as if doing a Kegel, to see if I could feel it.
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It’s a horrible thing to even think, let alone say, but sometimes I really had zero clue as to whether or not it was in there. I Had To Teach Myself Not To Ask "Is It In?" So I made my move south for a closer look, and even in the dimly-lit room, I could see that sex with him would be way different than what I was used to. However, when I reached down to touch his penis that very first time, I was surprised and confused about what I found, given that I'm accustomed to having sex with people of a more typical size. I think I’ve gotten to a point where, like many of us, I’m desensitized to most things. Here’s what happened when I had sex with the small-penis guy.
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I stuck around for a few months to figure out how to tell if good things come in small packages. So, considerably smaller than the average penis. I never actually measured, but for guesstimation purposes, I’d say that his erect penis was a little longer than my thumb (under two inches) in length, and maybe a little larger than a roll of quarters in girth.
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One article in European Urology found that of the participants surveyed, “55% and 22% of the women found the length of the penis unimportant and totally unimportant, respectively.” A newer study noted that while women tended to prefer slightly larger penises for one-time hook ups as opposed to longer relationships, they still only preferred penis lengths that were just slightly above average.īut back to my encounter. The same paper notes the reality is in stark contrast to what most men consider average length: they assume most penises are bigger than six inches when erect, even though the science tells us this isn’t the case.Īnd there’s not a whole lot of data out there to suggest that people who identify as women are all that concerned about small penises, either. They noted, however, the average length is probably on the lower end of that scale, to account for volunteer bias in the studies. But then I had sex with someone who had a small penis, and my frame of reference for “big” and “small” changed.īut what, exactly, is considered average? One article in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy reviewed over 30 studies where researchers had previously measured penis length, and determined that the average erect penis is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches in length. After all, penis size isn’t something that typically crosses your mind until you have something outside of your usual experience to compare it to. The rush that comes with tapping into this part of me scares me.I’ve never been one to demand that any man I meet have a big penis. I have no understanding of it and it is difficult for me to find a steady place for it. But now I worry that my wife’s lack of interest in it is causing it to bleed into my everyday life with friends and family. I have addressed it with my wife, and she says knowing the pain the penis has caused me, she has trouble picturing humiliating me, which is understandable. I normally loathe attention and humiliation. It is completely detached from my personality in normal life, which may be part of the point. After exploring it, I found I am very fond of it. She did not directly point me in the direction of “small penis humiliation,” but said it helped other people embracing the issue. I have taken the issue head on recently and discussed it with a psychiatrist. I am aware it has had too much of an influence on who I am. I struggled most of my life with how it affected how I interacted with others. I’m a married man in my 40s, and I have a small penis. It’s anonymous!Įvery week, the crew responds to a bonus question in chat form. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column.